Rediscovering St. John of the Cross

There is a rather battered paperback copy of the writings of St. John of the Cross that I have been reading for over a year. Just a little at night, before I go to bed. Twenty years ago I read the book cover to cover, and did not understand it very well. I forgot, or perhaps never actually remembered, any of it.

Reading it through the second time, I see the little marks where I left off each night. Yes, I was reading it at night then, too. And now and then there is a line or two highlighted in bright green from those days.

This first reading was very difficult for me, and not very interesting. I was reading it to try to learn something, or even worse, to try to become something. I was like a like a bull butting its head against a stone wall. Silly, sad me. St. John’s words were cold and critical to me. Very “dark”.

This time his words affect me differently.They are still dark. I don’t pretend to understand them. However, I don’t feel any pressure to understand them. I read them because I like to read them. His words satisfy me somehow. I read them and don’t think about them. I enjoy his imagery. I now know I am not an aspirant. I am just me. His words seem friendly, not judgemental or critical. It doesn’t hurt to read them this time.

Today I discovered that someone a translation of one of St. John of the Cross’s writings, The Dark Night of the Soul, and it is  online, public domain. I can quote from it. I am really happy about that. Because usually every night I find some little phrase that I really like. And I wanted to make note of them on this site.

Here is the link: The Dark Night of the Soul.

Believe me, there is much much more to come here on the subject of St. John of the Cross.