Birds

This clock was a gift from a neighbour. I had one that had stopped singing. Now again my home is full of birdsongs. Having a clock helps me order my life. And I love the songs!

Every day  I have been reading from the writing of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity. A few days ago I read Day 16 her Last Retreat. She wrote this retreat just before her death. To me it is like a guide to dying. I learn what is happening, from a spiritual view point, as the soul moves on, away from self and into Christ. 

Hard to think about. I do thank St. Elizabeth for writing this retreat. She draws very much from St. John of the Cross. I cannot make any comment about what I read. It is too deep, too painful, too very beyond words for me. 

I travel through my days busy with thoughts of family, music, daily chores, the weather… outside things, things of the self. Yes, a little of God is in me, and a little of me is in God. But all this spiritual reading is like dipping a toe in the ocean. 

When I get thrown into an emotional murk by something, I try hard to pray, to breathe slowly, to accept what is happening, to trust God and so on. But I still am sleepless, miserable, frightened and unable to feel better for a long time. 

Faith is my only recourse. 

A sunny day helps too. And practising my music. I have started singing again, with the little choir at the church I attend.